Looking back, I see a direct correlation between when I joined Facebook and when my blogging started to dwindle. I still think longer, more thought-out blogs are important, but until I make the time to keep this site current, feel free to send me an email (listed on my profile page) and I'll tell you where to add me on Facebook.
There's really no such thing as starting over. I mean, this life thing "starts" when you're born and "ends" when you die. You may move to a new state, end a relationship, turn another year older, set new goals, take a new job and so on, but you always take everything that's come before with you, no matter how hard you may want to "start over."
I contemplated starting a new blog because, frankly, I'm so not the guy who wrote all those old posts years ago. And, yet, I am. So I guess I'll jump back in with this blog and just see how it goes.
I guess the biggest change since I left off is that Annie and I are now separated. We have been for nearly four months. I live about a mile away, across the lake, with a guy I found on Craigslist. Divorce papers are filled out but sitting on a desk at the moment. I won't go into any detail right now as to the why; that will take up a few posts, for sure.
I see the kids every day. In fact, I just came from a Valentine's Day show at Silvi's school. I sat with Annie and Ian, although "sat" is the wrong word. Ian is a restless explorer - he surely would have beat Columbus to the New World had he lived then. So Annie and I took turns trying to keep Ian from performing a solo borne out of frustration while Silvi sang with her classmates, dressed in a little pink dress with a large heart smack in the middle.
To say that things are tough right now would be like saying Egypt just went through a little shakeup. Everything is different. But, weirdly, everything is also the same. Annie and the kids live in the same place, we still do things as a family together, I hang out with Annie's parents and siblings, I'm there with her and the kids until around bedtime most nights and so on. But everything is also "off," - broken.
Maybe I shouldn't take up blogging right now, who knows. But I'm tired of life's small moments being lost in the haze of conflict and sadness and depression. So I guess this is as good as any place to simply jump back in.
Annie, Ian and I went down to Turtle Bread for breakfast. Silvi spent the night with my parents, one of her favorite things to do. Candy, ice cream and mac and cheese around the clock; no wonder she loves it.
Then we took a drive around the lakes in the area, looking at the houses decorated for Halloween and the gorgeous, colorful trees. The tops of the skyscrapers in downtown Minneapolis were hidden in low clouds, adding to the moodiness of the overcast, wet day.
I'm down at my office, a stone's throw from our apartment, editing a video for Dan Wilson. I'm also working on a few documentaries that have been sitting on my to-do list for way too long.
All in all, a nice and relaxing day...
Thanks, everyone, for the kind comments and encouragement on the latest video clip. It helps keep me motivated and on track. The final documentary is going to be at least thirty minutes long and is part educational and part our son's story.
I'm making this video because I want to capture the nuances, the joy and pain, the fear and the happiness of raising a child with Down syndrome. I want to be able to share that with other parents in similar situations as well as with the rest of the world who may not fully understand this journey.
I was working on the documentary about my son tonight... got to me. I put this together to try to capture... well, you'll see...
That line in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure says it all. Not sure where I went for the last few months... whoa! Now THAT was a strange trip...
Hoping that the phone booth lands close to home this time. More soon...
This morning when I tried to hand Ian over to Annie, he pushed into my chest and clung to my arm, refusing to let go. I loved it.
